Relationship Tips: Introduction

I do not taut myself as an expert, and what works for me does not work for everyone. I have no counseling background, my experiences are limited to what I have done or what I have observed. I am recently married (2 months) to a man who I have been with for the past 7 years. We are happy, but  we also continue working on our relationship to help improve it. I have a close friend who I was talking to about relationships, and she continued to tell me that I should write what I think down, because although to me it is obvious it is not to others. So here goes....

In my mind, the first thing you should ask yourself about the relationship you are in is.... Is it the right one?

That question is not as simple as it appears, but also includes the subsidiary questions of:

• What have I invested in this relationship (time, money, belongings, marriage, pets, children,)?
• Is this relationship healthy (this is more of a pro/con idea is what I am gaining worth what I need to put in/ is the person I am with treating me as someone to be respected and cared for)? 
• Do I believe it is worth preserving?
• Am I willing to put in the effort it takes to try to make this work?

I am aware these are all I questions, but as a relationship is a bond created between two people you need to see where you stand first, before you can ask the same of another person.

In upcoming posts I will be writing about, Getting Concrete, Holding High Expectations, Letting Go, Being Honest, Being Vulnerable, Creating Safety, Opening Channels of Communication, Rekindling the Spark, Helping a Significant Other Through Times of Challenge, etc.

If there is any topic you want me to address in particular or if you have a question, please leave a comment. 

Self Acceptance and Self Love

I have always been a person with high energy and who is willing and able to do anything I set my mind to. I am driven and because of that drive I have finished college and will be graduating with my masters in December. I have taken this past month to relax and not have as many things I have to do and in the process I have come to realize that I am too hard on myself. I am working on trying to give everyone else the benefit of the doubt. I try to challenge my preconceptions of others and stereotypes I know I have or do not know I have. I work to consider my language and give others a chance, but I do not always give that chance to myself. I am aware I am a girl who was born into privilege, and although that privilege did not last I was given a positive environment to grow and learn in. I do not give myself the same room I give to others, I do not accept my mistakes or faults and instead I criticize the parts I feel are substandard or not to the point I want them to be at. I do not accept that I am doing the best I can and I am trying my hardest, things may not always be perfect, but I am giving it my time and attention and I need to relax and accept the things I cannot change. I try to be a kind and caring person and although I may not be perfect I do my personal best.

I am not sure how I plan to do this or how this will work out, but I know it starts with accepting myself and working towards loving myself, all of me. Eventually with time and acceptance I will hopefully get there and I will try to keep you up to date on my progress or work.

It's Been A While

The song I quoted last time was Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine. I am not sure if people still watch Grey's Anatomy, my life has gotten to the point where I no longer keep up with television shows, no matter how hard I try unless I watch them with my boyfriend. He lives in Boston, I don't so we need to do something together even though we are not.  Florence and the Machine's newish song, shake it out makes me think of that scene where Christina and Meredith dance it out, I tend to be one of those that likes to feel my emotions through dance. I am not very good and I am sure anyone watching would be shocked at what I call dancing but so be it. 

I am trying to make sense of my current life situation, I have taken to going back to school... I am currently working towards my masters degree so I can be a teacher, either elementary or special education, I will be certified in both. I go to Columbia Teacher's College and am part of their Inclusive Elementary Education Program. I will be done next December and at that point have to discover what I want to do in the real world. 

I will do my best to keep you informed of my education towards being an educator and my passions on the way there.

-Sarah

Hello, Howdy, Hola

I have decided to try and consolidate my blogging in the form of a single website. I have a variety of interests and I feel that combining them might be the best form of being able to blog more frequently and providing an interesting blog for all of you out there reading this. If I had to describe myself in five words, none of them would be particularly eye-catching nor would they help you as a reader get to know me, they are qualities that may come through my writing but you would be unable to see unless you met me firsthand. Rather than describing myself I will post the lyrics of a song I have been listening to on repeat, without googling if you can name this song I will be thoroughly impressed, if you tried and you had to google, I understand as well because I do not always remember the lyrics myself. This will be how I end or start each post, with lyrics from a song I am particularly drawn to at the time of the post.

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

P.S. Tomorrow I will post the song name or I will respond if you comment correctly.